Just My Luck

This will be my first time to fail finals, ever. It's not that I didn't study. It's *probably* not even Rosanna's fault (which I doubt) >_<. I studied all day today because I kept thinking my orals was due 530-6pm. Later I found out that it was actually 430-5pm. That one hour cost me theses 10 and 11. I managed to cram in thesis 10 right before we were "summoned for our final judgement." @_@ I was thinking, "Yeah, well, what were the odds that I'd pick up thesis 11?" Well, apparently, I beat the odds, in a really bad way. I picked up thesis 11. (SOAB! >_<) I tried everything in my power to talk my way out of it, but apparently, Ma'am wanted something verbatim. She said I was discussing this thesis in relation to all other theses. Doi, I knew all the other theses except this one. @_@

But at least that's the last I'll see of her. Please, sana wag lang F. T_T

. . .

Ma'am said "God is in the details." But if I remember correctly, I believe the original saying was, "The devil is in the details." That's how they get you. You get so tied up with mere trifling, trying to find the exact 2nd hand articulations of these authors that you fail to reflect the main message of the text and what it points out in our particular context. Without cohesion and appropriation, drawing details is a pathetic method of testing more aptly described as the "regurgitation method" - how well can you barf back the text that was force-fed to you. >_< style="font-style: italic;">class*. Don't get me wrong, I am not judging her as a person. As a person, Ma'am is *ok*. But as a teacher, well, let's just say that she's enough to make me question God's plan for humanity because if there was a just and loving God, He'd never allow Ma'am Rosanna to teach theology, ever. >_< But alas, my limited human capacity for understanding simply has no right to question God's omnipotence. He has BIG plans. The details hardly matter. As I said, "The devil is in the details." @_@

On Losing the Finals

It happens to the best of us. I had this feeling it would happen seeing how half-hearted the support was for this game. UST weren't the underdogs Ateneo had a +3.5 in the betting odds. +3.5 barely cuts it for game 2. >_<

I decided to watch thinking, what if? We could've won two championships last Saturday. But I guess, masyadong nang garapal 'yun. And so we went back to do POM and OR for two straight nights. We started Saturday evening and ended Monday morning (save for a few breaks to go home and remind our family that they still had a son/daughter). We had no sleep except for some powernaps that barely counted. @_@

Monday was game day. Sleep or no sleep I had to watch. I decided to cut Philo but I remembered I had to pass our paper which still lacked a conclusion, by the way. >_< So I went to school at 3 to finally finish my paper. All I needed was a couple of paragraphs but since my brain has long since lost its capacity to think profoundly, I finished at 3:30. I passed my paper personally, thinking Sir Mariano would understand how important this day was, and besides, I barely cut philo. ^_^

Non and I ran to the LRT to try and catch the game live. I hadn't planned on watching the game live, but Non had bleacher seats and the prospect of a championship on a game 3 was just too inviting. ^_^

We arrived to what looked like a good game. We were up, and you suddenly had that feeling that "Yeah, this should be worth it."

We all know what happened next. :-|

It was the most devastating moment in my college life: to see the last 3 seconds go by without a fight. UST won by 2 points. If I had bet on the Ateneo, I would have still won, but that would be a consuelo de bobo. I had to give it to them, they had their fairytale season. I just feel bad that I would never get a genuine big bonfire in my college life. Oh well, that's that. T_T

I noticed how Ateneans can still proudly sing the alma mater song despite losing and voices strained from shouting. I admired that pride. And so the lines, "Win or lose, it's the school we choose," are always sung emphatically as if to say, "I'm still an Atenean. How about you?" ^_^

It's really awkward going out of the Araneta, meeting all those yellow-clad fans along the way. You never really know how to respond seeing how they are so happy and festive, and you so down and empty. It's the worst feeling. I suggest that on these days, Araneta should provide separate exits for both fans. T_T

I guess it just wasn't our time. It wouldn't have been as bad had the game been a blowout. A close game just brought me expectations. I hate expecting because my entire history of expectations always came to a disappointing conclusion. This one is no different. I just feel sorry for Macky's good game.