Because New Moon Was So Fucking Successful

From the same people that brought you 500 days of Summer and Mark Millar's 300 on screen comes the most anticipated motion feature of the year.

300 times the romance.

300 times the abs.

It's that guy from The Ugly Truth in...

COMING THIS FALL

Just About the Coolest Girl Ever

I hate girls who smoke. I don't know, maybe it's because of the thought of inhaling smoke and knowing that 90% of housefire deaths are caused by it. The logic of the correlation just didn't catch on to me, personally. I don't know, maybe I'm missing out on something here, but I just don't really feel like trying it, ever.

But the friend of a friend I just met, well, she kinda made it look so cool. She made it look so kick-ass that we totally didn't mind her smoking inside the room. She made it look so fucking epic that you get that impression that she was inhaling all the bad stuff to do you a favor. Like after she inhales, there's no secondhand smoke left to kill you.

Oh and did I tell you she has this tattoo "12" just below the back of her neck? Perfect. I mean it's not like those other tattoos that make other girls seem like, "Yeah, buying me a drink will work." It's placed high enough on her back not to look like she has had sex with exactly that number of people.

And another thing, my friend tells me she's a surfer. HOW FUCKING COOL IS THAT? And she doesn't even look remotely so. I mean you know those brawny girls whom you much rather arm wrestle than cuddle? She's the complete opposite of that. I mean yeah she looks petite and delicate, but she has this dense air of rebellion about her that it makes my eyes water. And she doesn't even try - at all. It's like she's trying to hold back all this coolness. Epic. I also heard she rides a fucking Mesa Pegasus to work.

Ok maybe I'm starting to exaggerate my point again but this girl is so high up there that I wouldn't come near her within a ten-foot radius in fear of instant death like that in the Raiders of the Lost Ark due to her sheer excessive awesomeness.

She's too awesome!

I'm Getting Good at This

Is there a talent for "getting replaced by assholes"? I should probably register.

I can laugh at almost anything. Fate throws a pesonal crisis up my way and I'd be ROLFing LMAOing just like that. I'd realize how strangely absurd this might be to even merit further assessment, other than, "Oh shit, not again?"

I am obviously so self aware and so determined to run through life without bothering with irrelevant details that anything wrong that's happening I automatically attribute to something "statistically certain" - anything at all: human error, cosmic alignment, a pesonification of fate playing jokes on random people in the world, ireconcilable differences between individuals without which it would be physically impossible to exist - anything just to deal with the truth that I failed.

It's a trick that sometimes gets me wondering how much less individually human I've become, I mean if we first define an "individual human" as a person who is centrally concerned with individual needs.

Let's put it in perspective. Well first, imagine: the entire universe doing it's business like clockwork, churning out stars, producing new planets, killing off entire galaxies with it's collisions and supernova explosions, you know, Stephen Hawking stuff. There is a particular order, right? Imagine gravity, keeping planets in orbit and things like that. Then the other fundamental forces: magnetism, zero point energy, electro-static whatever. All these things, these pre-conditions for existence of a huge almost infinite universe is just right. It's the perfect parameter for stars to coalesce, to give energy to planets. Out of several probable pre-condition we had this one, and this earth-sized earth whose gravity, distance from the sun and atmospheric pressure is just right for living things to exist. Well of course you can take the other perspective and say that living things adjusted to these preconditions but the fact remains, that there is an inherent order.

Imagine that pre-condition as only one of the possible infinite combinations of other pre-conditions.

Ok, point of the whole narrative was to simply convey one thing: we are too small to merit relevance on the bigger scheme of things. Sure we would like to feel all-important and privileged but that is because we are living in a small society that also feels all-important and privileged. We are only privileged in a way that we have enough intellect to UNDERSTAND HOW FUCKING SMALL WE ARE. Get it?

I'm thinking at this point, I've muddled much of the issues I've been raising in the start of the entry. And you're right, I always need to scroll up and re-read what I've written so I can always get back to the point.

Right now, I just want to thank you for putting up with this incoherent line of thought. You are actually taking a journey with me. You know it all started with me seeing photos of a girl I once liked with her "not-quite-boyfriend" - photos of them holding hands, spelling "I <3 U" using flow petals. You know? Things that we used to do.

Now, I've tried to get through life by not minding a lot of things. I am so determined to keep my shit together that I don't want things like this to hurt. But who am I kidding, right? It hurts. It hurts like a motherfucker.

So here I am thinking, "Wow. So much for that huh?"

It was really like a comet. Blindingly beautiful and brilliant, but in just a blink of an eye...

Poof.

Gone.

Off to another part of the universe. Off to share its light and warmth to another planet somewhere, in that vast infinite emptiness.