On Nights Awake

Forgive me for this. I know it's been a while. @_@

I feel disgust at what I write, but at least it's honest. Truth is still a value, isn't it?

When it's 3am and you find yourself walking barefoot in a house where you can't even sleep in your room. (The closet has suddenly collapsed on your bed and now you're on the couch, repeatedly pressing the sleep button on the TV.) You're surprised to note how Discovery Channel has kept you awake this long. You think you should drink the leftover brandy but you know that's not right. You find yourself hoping that some kind angel will give you Valium. But it never comes. @_@

You try to cry because you vaguely remember how crying used to lull you. (But of course you can't. There's nothing worth crying about.) You suddenly feel a vague feeling of anger. Something irritates you and you don't know what exactly. But you know it's there. It's scratching from beneath your chest. You feel tired but you're wide awake. >_<

Nothing consoles this - nothing on this beaten couch at 3am, no matter where or how you turn. Then you swear to yourself as if it was the gravest thing in the world, "I will not be subject to this again." You repeat it ten times for good measure. Then you finally concede to the fact that life just is.

I hate insomnia. T_T

For the Win

When Evangelista shot a jumper over Doug Kramer, he left Ateneo with a one-point deficit and only one second to make up for it. I was thinking, crap, the referees made this so. >_< They've been giving bad calls throughout the game. Winning this game was going to take nothing short of a miracle now. I thought if Fisher was able to win a game with only 0.4 seconds left, Ateneo shouldn't be too worried about 1 second. But who am I kidding? That was the NBA. This is UAAP. So who were they going to turn to? Chris or Jai, most probably. But Coach Norman wasn't thinking along those lines. Instead, he had Macky give the inbound pass to Doug, who was ironically left alone at point blank. All it took was one second. And the crowd went wild. Waaah. ^_^ Everyone went wild. UST on the other hand suddenly looked as if everyone came down with dengue. That had to hurt. :-| So who was the clutch player for Ateneo? It had to be Coach Black.

I have tickets for Thursday. If it is willed to be so, then I'll be watching to championship games live. Too bad La Salle isn't here to see this through. ^_^

Theo Test of Horror

This is going down in history as one of the worst moments in my college life. I took an exam that was intensely objective - I mean INTENSE - as in nose-bleed-inducing, cardiac-arresting, makapigil-hiningang intensity. >_< Rosanna sure knows how to do it right. Last night I read the whole Gospel of John (all 21 chapters) in one sitting. I felt a little momentum going so I also went ahead and read halfway of chapter 2 in the book (pp. 30-64). At around 330am, I called it a night. I knew I couldn't read anymore because I was starting to spend 20 minutes on just 1 paragraph. @_@ You know that feeling when you can understand the sentences line per line but can't seem to remember what the whole point of the paragraph was? I was starting to feel that. So by the law of diminishing returns, I quit. X-(

I had to wake up at 7am because we had to go back to GSK for a meeting. I spent any idle time studying or sleeping. I was feeling more and more hopeless but I guess you'll get used to that in ME. @_@

Before LS I went to the lib in a futile attempt to study. I saw Magno and he was kind enough to give out a few pointers. "Focus on chapter 2," he said. I went back to SEC to tell everyone else.

I never got to read chapter 5 nor the two crucial chapter 7 articles. That proved to be my undoing as 90% of the 35 modified true or false items were based on chapter 5 and 7. Chapter 2 was useless. I can't help but laugh knowing that there were at least 6 people in the room who are just as stumped as I was, Magno included. @_@

The coup de grace (ku/de/graw) was the matching type (I just remembered. We used to joke around in high school, whenever there was a matching type exam we'd point to some random guy and say, "Ikaw matsing type. ^_^ Hahahaha" Matsing, as in Kiko Matsing of Batibot. Well anyway back to the story.) The matching type doused the last ember of hope that I had left. It was supposed to test our knowledge of the the Johannine literature by making us match some phrases to the chapter where it belonged. These phrases were not the famous ones either. It was nowhere near "In the beginning was the Word." It was more like "When you were young, others fastened your belt for you." I mean, WTF? >_< Well of course now I've memorized it since I spent a good 10 minutes trying to remember what chapter it came from. I swear, never again.

PS.

I was trying to be eloquent enough to inject the Martial Law anniversary in my last sentence. But in case you failed to notice, "Never again" is the popular tag line of this year's Martial Law anniversary. ^_^

Easy Come, Easy Go

I went to Escaler for the Mr. and Ms. SOM final leg. I had nothing to do between 4:30-6pm anyway other than to endure my hunger strike. @_@ They had this contest were people could win a round trip for two to Boracay given that they stay until the end of the show to personally receive the prize themselves. So I wrote my name on a piece of paper thinking, hey who knows? There was an obvious lack of seat in the place and besides, MEA has already reached its 20-person quota. So I went out thinking, hey what are the odds? :-?

En route to Cabochan, I ended my hunger strike with the usual late-class hotdog and mami. ^_^ I also broke my zero peso expense policy in the process. The time then was 5:50. It never occured to me to at least visit Escaler and at see who won the damn thing. After a few minutes of Cabochan's class, Chong texted. I thought it was another one of their cruel jokes, but apparently it was confirmed later by MGT-H people who I believed had little motivation to play this sort of prank. I thought, hey, I was lucky. Wait, no I wasn't. >_<

I should've stayed. I should've tried my luck. Well, everyone would say, what are the odds? But that does not discount that fact that I did have a chance, dammit. >_< I should've at least stayed. There is definitely something wrong with fate's humor in this one. Now I just want to see the guy who won. I want to see how it feels like if I stayed because I seriously don't know how I should feel knowing that I could've won but freely chose not to take the chance. T_T

And for what? Just so I could be an early bird in Cabochan's boring-to-death class. There is absolutely no consolation in this one, by far the greatest could-have of my life. >_< O well, nothing is really supposed to be this easy. I just pray to God that the person who finally won will enjoy it.
So what say our readers? The verdict is that it is not fun to go to school anymore. If I may quote Lady on this, "Mas malala pa tong sem na to sa SMEG." I had to agree. @_@

They're Out to Get Me

You know you're going to have a bad day when you see this. @_@ Someone up there is definitely out to get you. You can't escape it. It's like, "Honey, do you think I'm fat?" but on a more universal scale. We can't give a safe answer. Would you rather a) Yes, honey you could lose a few, b) No honey you've never looked better or c) Wait, let me get my protective headgear. I am totally oblivious to that fact so I say, a) Yes, honey you could lose a few. @_@ Sadly, there can only be one outcome. It's like that moment where one of the Survivor people get voted out - unanimously.

Think about the days where you felt like you can't do anything wrong. You take a surprise exam and the smart kid beside you is feeling extra cooperative. You bump into your crush and she's absolutely riveted by your appeal. You forgot to write your paper but the due date's been moved just as you were about to panic. Everything just falls into place. ^_^

Now imagine the complete opposite of that day. @_@

Heh?

Ever had a test where you felt like, "Heh?" Stumped isn't the word. It's more of surprise in the fact that even if you studied or not, things'll be the same. "Heh?" @_@ I expected this POM test to be more on the quantitative side. I practiced my solutions and memorized the procedures well in anticipation. Quite the opposite. This test was more like, "How well can you BS your way out of this?" >_<



Bentong beats Geoff Eigenmann by one. Pare naman... Bentong? E 'yun 'yung sinasabi mo pag may Volks na dumaan. A wait, Pendong pala 'yun. ^_^

P.S.

Happy birthday Nati! ^_^

Croc Hunter Killed by Stingray

He was not a stingray hunter. He did this all his life and the odds just caught up with him. Steve Irwin, famous for his "Crikey" on his show, the Crocodile Hunter, fell victim to a stingray when its barbed tail punctured his chest. It was too late for him when he arrived in the hospital. He died doing what he loved. -_-

Frankly, I am not surprised. I say leave the deadly animals be. @_@

Read the news.