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Mind reading: Just one of the few ways Google is taking over the world.

Weirdmanila Character Sketches

Click on image for a larger view. I dare you.

I've developed the first three characters here. See if you can still match them to the previous Weirdmanila cast. I'll try making action poses or cleaner sketches next.

Worst Flood in Years

We had to learn it the hard way.

The Ondoy flooding was the worst my brothers have experienced in years. But again, in the face of such a calamity, the Filipinos are proving to be a resilient race.

Relief operations are underway, and all my friends who I follow in Twitter are all exerting personal efforts to lend help to everyone else. Social boundaries are broken, and cynicism takes a backseat. In such a disastrous event, everyone stands together as one. Here we see real human communities at work.

The atmosphere of all the social networks I visit are sullen and struck but nonetheless banded towards a common goal. People are challenging each other for service. "Don't be a pussy," was the best-worst one I read so far. And I don't see much of the useless quizzes, mafiawars, farmsville or whatever updates as much. Anyone who would want to place anything mundane would rather think twice.

This is an illustration of the basic human bonds in a concrete raw form. It took us a disaster to realize it, but the world isn't as bleak as we make it to be. Our nation isn't as bleak as we perceive it to be. I am proud of my friends back home. They are strong and mature people, extending help even as they themselves need help.

I just realized how much I wanted to do my share, not because it is a trending topic or because I don't want to be called a pussy. For the longest time I have been living in apathy because I falsely perceived it to be cool. But in the deepest primal recesses of my being I want to reach out and be altruistic because this is how we re built - fundamentally social and good.

And yes, we are all like that. Behind all the cynical sarcastic snide comments about how hopeless everything is, we have this potential in us to be great even in the face of tremendous darkness. My heart and prayers extend to you, brothers. May you all be safe.

God bless you all.

I Make An Inadequate Storyteller

I lack a muse right now.

I've developed the apt esoteric overall major plot. But I lack the necessary focus to pull it off. Basically, I don't know what I really want.

I'm going to research some more on truenaming.

I want to make some pilot scenes but it's all coming out half-baked.

It's like some bastard child of Bill Waterson and Hideaki Anno.

Maybe this is all part of the whole creative process lah? I don't know.

Right now even the character designs are becoming less and less appealing. I'm sticking with the three main characters I have but I fear they are vain and obsessive reflections of what I wish would happen in real life.

If I could just piece it all together... how? I'll give it a rest. The notebook still has several more pages left.

Maybe next time something will crop up and rouse me from this stupid soul-crushing slump.

Weirdmanila In The Works

I found my love for illustrating again. I'm actually fleshing out the concepts, enumerating the jokes, plotting down the major story arc and beginning character development. I want this to be a forward-looking webcomic since in a few years I'll be studying illustration and creative writing.

I placed three key aspects: (1) developing complex character-driven story arc with an esoteric setting, (2) the psychological/reflective aspects by having moments of sarcastic introspection by each character, (3) the all-important comedic part. Somehow I name all three aspects by how I was inspired by them: Eva-ish, xkcd-ish, and Kiko Machine-ish.

And I'm still thinking about whether I should give my character names or just have them develop by their actions and thoughts. I plan to make them real complex, somehow resembling real-life people who you can neither truly hate, love or grasp. They would have these absurd backstories that would all somehow make sense in the end. I'll post scanned sketches here within the week.

That's all, hope this creative streak doesn't break.

A Little Moving On

Hey, wake up.
I don't want to. Not yet.
You're still feeling down? Let it go.
I've done that. Twice already. Still feels like crap though.
You can't keep feeling sorry for these things.
...I am selfish.
Yes you are.
Thanks.
No, dumbass stop feeling sorry for yourself. You've done enough.
No.
No? What else huh? You think this self pity will tell the world how much of a deep tortured soul you are? You think chicks dig that thing? Look around you asshole, for the longest time you have kept at this and what good has it ever done you?
No. You're looking at it all wrong.
Do you seriously think people don't see right through this? You think it's cute. You think it's profound. You are a sensitivity exhibitionist asshole. Keep at it and see where it takes you.
That's not even the point.
What then? What else are you feeling sorry for? You think that if you keep at this long enough some omnipotent force will take your side and finally throw you a bone? Keep dreaming.
Maybe I will.
You know what? Tough shit. The world doesn't give a flying fuck. Life goes on. You are not entitled to anything more than anyone else out there. Life is unfair. It sucks and it hurts. But that's just it. That's real.
I don't care anymore. Just leave me.
Good riddance then.
Good riddance.
You're an asshole.
I know.
You deserve this.
Yes.
Bye.

Thanks.

Apologies

"Hey snob reyes. Bigla ka lang nagdisappear. bad ka tlga. ewan ko sau :S ...oh well,.."

Ah.

Sorry.

Will you still take me back after everything? I might hurt you again. I'm a quitter, a coward. I'm weak, and selfish. I'm unworthy. I run away from everything.

I'm a serious mess. I'm really lonely, paranoid, and insecure. I am not the boy you think I am. I am deceitful, sly and a insensitive.

You are perfect. You need someone who's perfect. I don't want to drag you into my mess. I don't want anyone to get hurt by me. Especially you.

I built this wall to protect you...

Who am I kidding? I'm protecting myself. I really am selfish... I still think about you but I try to keep a safe distance. I don't want to build myself into the inevitable fall.

---EVERYTHING IS TRANSIENT. NOTHING LASTS. NOT THIS.---

So I'm saving myself the trouble - at your cost...

Sorry. I am the most self-aware, self-destructive douchebag asshole you have ever met. I assert myself at the wrong time and in the worst possible context.

I don't really know what to say anymore. I just feel helpless and guilty.

Please forget about me. I'm really sorry...