It's Way Past Bedtime...

I'll try keeping you alive, blog. I've been busy these days.

Anyway, you don't want to hear me gripe about work, so here's another thing that's worth continuing:

It looks like Part 2 of a Several Part Series was cut short, due to some technical difficulties. Haha well that's what we could call it, because technically, Two is already taken. Woh. Didn't see that one coming. I don't think anyone did.

Ah, who am I kidding. I knew about it. I wrote about it although it didn't really bother me besides the fact that, um, it's not my place to judge, but given the chance to put it bluntly... "Di hamak naman mas gwapings ako. (No doubt I'm a better-looking dude.)". I just had to put in that English translation.

Anyway, blog no ill feelings you know, and before anyone throws a hissy fit, that statement above was just a joke, ok? What more damage can I do anyway? Haha! I'll put it in any way I still can, even if it has to be through my barely alive blog.

No offense blog. Despite several thoughts of reformatting you completely, I didn't.

Because I can't find the time, basically.

Anyway, that's it. Eso es todo. Write you when I write you.

Part 2 of a Several Part Series

Ok blog, our RR Alignment Project's smooth sailing for today so I can afford a little writing time. ^_^

Where was I? Right, I was recounting.

Ok, let's up the ante. I'm spilling the beans. Anyway, no one really knows that you're alive. (Frankly, I doubt they even care. No offense.) So here: Two is seeing someone. Nothing serious, but it's (a) exclusive, and (b) consistent. I've heard a lot of weddings start out as "nothing serious." Sorry for jumping the gun. :-D

I know it's stupid because it's been so long and I'm honestly OUT. As in. I just found it irritating that well, how come someone else had that chance? And what made it worse was that I KNEW the guy. There was a face to the "boy". Had it been any other "boy", I wouldn't care. But no, it was someone who was human to me. Knee-jerk reaction: "This sucks." >_<

But like I said, it's over and done.

...

I just had a crazy realization. *ding* Do I go down without a fight? I mean, if it's something that never really started, could it really be done? Like everyone said, it was all a matter of timing. Well here are the considerations that I'm putting on the table:

PROS
1. It's nothing serious.
2. I can hold a candle to the "boy". (If I'm not holding a bigger candle already ^_^ *Haha* Ok sorry...)
3. Maybe it's finally time that she's considering her options (?)
4. We ended on good terms.
5. We could be friends... at the least.

CONS
1. It's stupid :'-(
2. It's over and we both agree to it.
3. This is major damage on the consistency of my words and actions.
4. She must not really like me and was just shy to let me down the first time.

Let me think a while on this, blog. My next entry should be an action plan already.

I Don't Want to Bring It Up But

I might as well. ^_^ (Sidenote: This is the only place run-on sentences are allowed.)

Blog, because I've resolved to call you names, I'll call you blog. Not "dear blog" because we've drifted apart and you're not THAT dear anyway.

Where was I?

Right, blog, along came a spider bearing news - ill news - about, y'know :-# It was ill news for me at the least because I always had a small hope, not something that I would pin all my future actions on, but something that just keeps me "in the loop", as people would like to call it. I always hoped that after everything and everyone else, in the end, the universe will always unfold in the way that it ought to.

Not everyone agrees, blog. For the past few years that it's been over I've been pursuing other paths, following everyone's advice to keep my options open. I've even been giving the same advice to everyone else. I've convinced myself that this is the right thing - the ideal thing - as opposed to hoping against all hope.

It's funny how someone's reality is another one's ideal. Well, that's what you learn when you grow up eh? :-|

And besides, how can I begin to guess at how the universe will finally unfold? Did I just dare dictate what fate would be in the end? Looking back, I did. That's why right now, I'm not making any more excuses for it. I was wrong. Sad, yes. The way I see it, it's not an issue of quitting or pursuing something you really believe in. It's an issue of forcing the issue.

So ask me again, "Is it over?"

Yes.

Then follow up with this, "Then why were you affected?"

Aye, there's the rub :-(

To be continued.

Two Days

So it comes down to this. :-|

I try to drown out this stupid voice in me recently. It's been me giving ideas, stupid ones, crazy ones, ones that would get me in a heap of trouble. Someone said before, "Nothing is going to change in one night."

Part of me would like to scream out in protest, "No lives change even in split seconds, how much more one whole night?" But I resigned and subscribed to the idea that perhaps even if I did, nothing will change. I cannot cup the ocean in my hands. >_<

Haha. For a second I got you all going. :-P

Ok, the whole point is that this whole countdown thing is happening so anticlimactically for me. I mean, some ended theirs last Friday, while I continue as if something extraordinary should happen on February 28. And just so anyone wouldn't get their hopes up, nothing will happen. There. Happy?

But then again who knows. My little voice in the head is telling me crazy stuff. Like recently, it told me to buy coffee, go to her condo and surprise her. That would have been something. But before I could ruin my life for me (or for her, at least for that night), fate intervened with the funniest, cruellest, and most God-please-tell-me-it-isn't-so thing in the whole universe. And that I cannot divulge freely for fear of the truth that might haunt me for the rest of my life.

But in *fairness* :-*, something will happen on February 28. My deadline for comics and design class.