Post Mortem Post

Remember, I was/am a complete, outright sellout. @_@ I also had this: Blah.

I took the liberty of unearthing my past writings so I can laugh at them. Drama this, drama that. But in memory of all that is good (even if it was for the time), I shall re-write something from 3 years back, written at 02/02/04. I was particularly smitten then. Probably even now. Blame it on the nostalgia and the futile attempts at rekindling lost passions, but here it is and I'll shove it up your nose if I had to. >_<

Illusionary Affection and the Comedy of Fate

[Author’s Comments: The characters stated here are totally fictional and based on a systematic and selective interpretation of what I think is beautiful. Any similarities to actual persons either living or dead are purely coincidental. If any of my characters really do exist, then please don’t hesitate to introduce me to them, hehe.]

Behold my princess.

I stare at her with the same amazement of a child that stares behind the window of a toy store, coveting whatever is inside. I can’t help but drown in her eyes, small as they are. I can’t help but stand still, her golden dress flowing through her curves like water over a fall. Yet the gold of the dress pales in comparison to her morena complexion that reflects the moon’s silver light as we walk together on this blissful night. She really is pretty even if her mouth is flapping all the time. She’s always telling me something that I should or should not do. Damn it, she’s like my mother. But I liked her nonetheless.

Fate must be a comedian. He knows that she and I are from totally different worlds. She is all that I am not and do not wish to be and I’m sure she feels the same way about me. I’ve never hesitated to ask for help from others and this, she thinks, is a sign of weakness, while I think of it as a sign of a true human. She’s too prideful to ask for help. Sure, don’t ask for my help, I wouldn’t give it to you anyway. Fate must really be joking when he brought us together. He knows that she’s the person who likes to bend things to her will, and I’m the person who bends easily. What is wrong with Fate? He laughs while I get pushed around. He smiles when I fall.

I bet he’s smiling a lot now.

In physics, we were taught that north does not attract north. North attracts south. It is a given fact that opposites attract. So this could probably be the reason why I’m stumbling after this lady who has been the incarnation of who I am not. I’m not sure but whenever I’m with her, I feel complete – a complete idiot. In chem, we were taught that polar compounds do not mix with nonpolar compounds. Oil and water separate into two distinct layers because they hate each other’s guts. Water tells oil that she is weak because she is not THE universal solvent. Oil tells water that he is pitiful because he doesn’t have a large market value. Water rebuts oil by saying that she can’t quench people’s thirst. Oil finally says, “I am ABOVE you.” Then Fate, the comedian, pitches in a bit of soap…

I don’t know what I feel for her. At times when she pauses – oh and a long pause it would be – I feel that she is saying something like, “I’m sorry but it’s just not possible.” But then she turns her head away and her unbound hair, heavenly in the moonlit night, scatters their scent, intoxicating me to the bones until I am too weak to stand. And at this moment, all animosities I have towards her are expunged. Any hate I had for her is taken away, along with my breath. Sigh.

I wish for us to be together, even in silence for it is in silence that we hear our hearts, beating in unison. I could stay forever with her in moments of unspoken tenderness, reassuring each other that this crazy world still has people that it can’t break. Together we were a team. Together we were complete.

But Fate must be a comedian. She’s Chinese. I’m not.

* * *

Dammit. Half of the words I used there I barely know now. Expunged? Animosities? Whatever, bro. Happy Valentines! ^_^